Episode 5 of the season had many quotable quotes and, as far as I’m concerned, was the best episode this season, so far.
Something we enjoy to do each week is to pull out those quotes that we think are the best. The criteria for a quote to make our list is that the it must stand on it’s own when taken out of context.
In this episode, the best line was said by Eric to Doug who talks about never having visited New York city:
Eric: “New York City smells like pee and the people are rude.”
Below is our top quotes from episode 5.05:
Eric: Alcide, you sure know how to treat a lady.
Sookie: A 3000 year old vampire wants to suck my blood, must be Thursday. What are you’all waitin’ for, let’s go hunt Russell. Onwards into the jaws of death, boot n rally.
Tara: If I wanted to look like a drag queen, I would have raided Lafayette’s closet.
Pam: I want you to sit on your ass and play scrabble.
Tara: The more things change, the more they fuckin’ stay the same.
Tara: I’m many things, but sweet ain’t one of them.
Pam: I saved your fucking life and lent you some truly exquisite clothes, but if you do anything to mess with Fangtasia, I will silver you and stick you in a coffin to rot until the next millennium.
Prisoner: Drew is Goo.
Jessica: We’re going to live forever, we’re going to be young forever. The world is open to us.
Molly: If you don’t make it, it’s been rad serving you, peace out.
Sookie: First of all, I’ve seen enough horror movies to know you don’t split up when you’re in a big scary building and there’s a crazed killer on the loose. Second, I think it’s fair to say that my microwave fingers and the sun are about the only things that seem to have any effect on Russell. So the way I see it, it’s me protecting you from him, instead of the other way around. Third, I’ve got a headache, I’ve got to pee something fierce, so I’d just assume we get this thing over with.
Jason: Vampires, they’ve been gettin’ away with this shit forever.
Eric: New York City smells like pee and the people are rude.
Hanging Prisoner: Please don’t take me, it’s not my turn. I’m too skinny. I was on Atkins and lost 40 lbs. Fatties first!
Russell: As my great love Talbot used to say when we were buck hunting, give it your best shot!
The following is not a single quote that can stand on it’s own, as our criteria calls for, but I decided to include it here because I found Roman’s speech to be quite profound and it seems to sum up the premise for the whole season. I just wish it hadn’t taken 6 episodes to get to it though.
Roman: There are traitors in our midst, those that seek to tear down all that we have built together. As guardian, I am tasked with not only our political future, but the spiritual salvation of vampires everywhere. The question before us is, are we willing to share this world?
The choice is ours, do we return to a time to when we skulked in the dark, hiding in the shadows, or are we willing to extend the promise of Lilith and her bountiful mercy to all humanity and live as equals.
The sanguinistas say we are going against our nature and Lilith commands us to feed as the pinnacle of the food chain, but they are wrong. For, if we let out sins flourish, if we are slaves to our blood lusts, if we let our hunger for power surpass our common decency, we doom ourselves to damnation. So let it be known, we will not concede the floor to the depraved and desperate tyranny of mad men and fanatics. We will not stand by while zealots hijack the righteousness of our cause. We will fight and let the night cleanse us of our sins and lead us to victory.
Must be Thursday! is one of my favorites.
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Great list! Thanks for providing. I agree about Eric’s pee-rude line being the best. It was so unexpected, which was half the fun. Also, Molly’s “rad serving you, peace out” was great. And, Andy’s “I fucked a fairy?” was priceless.
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You can’t leave out the best line by Chris Bauer’s character Andy: “I fucked a fairy?” with that only-Andy-can-do-it confused expression.
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Great list Lynn and reading Romans speech reinforceses what the vampires are up against.
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Eric’s line to Alcide about how to treat a lady had me in stitches ouch lol
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Indeed great list! Alot of memorable quotes this season had me in stitches particularly this episode! Like when Lafayette realizes he has horns LOL!…
“No, no, no. I ain’t down with this hinky Brujo shit.”
And when Pam greets Tara… “You actually look half decent.”
Jason’s mom… “Do you want a little sex? Sex always makes you feel better, doesn’t it? Not even a b/j?”
Jason… “Hey,you know what’s fucked up?”
Andy… “Pretty long list.”
Jason… “Andy, those guys and all those strippers? They’re fairies. Like Tinker Ball.”
Andy… “I don’t care if those ladies are fairies or leprechauns or freaking Ewoks.”
Sookie… “Alcide, are we gonna talk about the fact that I puked on your shoes?”
Alcide… “Nope.”
Sookie…”Remind me to avoid peach schnapps in the future.”
Still LMAO!…Can’t wait till’ Sunday-nite!
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