Now that Season 1 has begun, we once again bring you the best quotes from each episode.
Alan Ball and the writers have already come up with some really good quotations that we will all remember. Pam’s deadpan public service announcement was hysterical and Nan’s quote at the end saying, I have proof, scientific proof that people are far dumber than they realize.” sets the mood for the AVL and their struggle to reinvent themselves, just like politics today.
This year we have chosen to be much more selective and only include the very best quotes we can find in each episode. These are quotes that we think can “stand on their own” and be used over and over, even outside True Blood.
Below are the most quoatable and interesting quotes from Episode 4.01 “She’s Not There.”
Sookie: I’m staying away from vampires, I can “guaran-damn-tee” you that.
Andy: If it weren’t for you, this year’s Louisiana safe streets plaque would be on my wall and not fucking Webster Parrish. You owe me a plaque!
Sookie to Bill: In my mind it was just an hour ago that you broke my heart in a million pieces.
Lafayette: Ten good mother fuckin’ months I’ve gone without a freak ass vision and now you want me to hang out in a coven. Five minutes, ten if they got drinks.
Lafayette: Smells like where old air fresheners go to die.
Arlene: Decapitating Barbie Dolls, what the hell kind of baby does that?
Terry: When I was a kid I used to put squirrel heads on lizard bodies, invent new animals.
Jessica: Do you understand how gross human food is to a vampire. It’s all dead, permanently and forever dead. Going to the Piggly Wiggly is like going to the morgue for you.
Nan: I have proof, scientific proof that people are far dumber than they realize.
Nan: It’s a post Russell Edgington world everyone, and we win back the human public one smile at a time. Now, can anyone here play this game?
Bill: We can’t have a ribbon cutting without the giant scissors.
Tara (Toni): I’m sad that you gotta offer money because there ain’t nothing else about you that’s worth lovin’.
Lafayette: I got by just fine my whole life without no fucking magic.
Lafayette: I gave my shit to those deliverance extras over at Hot Shot and it damn near caused my life to get out of there, so you can check as many orifices as you want, I’m clean.
Jason: I’m not saying anything happened just now, but if something did happen, it didn’t happen, OK?
Maxine: I have told you Sam Merlotte, people of all kinds need to eat. You don’t even have the decency to make the front door handicapped accessible.
Pam: Toilets are for humans only, do I need to explain why?
Pam: That tree with the plaid shirt, it has a name? He seems sweet and all, but if you’re makin’ him bring you here, I have a hunch that it’s not enough.
Pam: The way you’re eye fucking fangbangers from across the room that’s especially romantic.
Pam: You have no reason to feel guilty, you’re a hunter, you’ve never been on your own, and you live with a human monogamously; it’s just so ridiculous.
Timbo about the icebox : That’s our airconditioning.
Marnie about her bird Minerva: I was wondering why she stopped eating, but then I realized that it was her way of telling me she had more work to do in the spirit world.
Eric: Such a strange sensation when the reality matches what you pictured in your mind so precisely.
Eric: I always knew you were alive and if I owned the house, then I would own you.