Mary Jo (aka Skimom2) has provided her weekly list of the best True Blood quotes below:
I can’t believe that another season of True Blood is over. What’s even more astonishing is that 3 seasons have passed and that season 4 will be in production soon. It was a bittersweet yet powerful finale to a very complex season. Yes, there was a lot of evil going on in this episode but there was also a lot of crazy dialogue going on as well. Speaking of crazy, our favorite fae and waitress Sookie had some intense and jaw dropping lines this week. Did you know that the word fuck was used 24 times in this episode? That’s about a fuck every 2 1/2 minutes! Anyway, I can’t wait to see what the True Blood writing team has waiting for us in season 4. I’m sure the dialogue will be very “bewitching!”
Blood Bytes will be back in June. Waiting sucks!
Ginger to Sookie- “Are you sure you’re not hungry?
I can make you a peanut butter and butter sandwich.”
Russell to Eric – “All I wanted was a couple of goats for my wolves!”
Russell to Eric – “Shut the fuck up and die please!”
Sookie to Bill (as she slaps him) – “You fuckin betrayed me AGAIN!”
Bill to Sookie – “I only pretended to betray you so I could save your life AGAIN!”
Sookie to Bill – “You do not own me!”
Sookie to Russell (as she flings him to the fence) – “You watch your fuckin language!”
Steve Newlin to Nan Flanagan (on TV) – “Was it the right wing who ripped out the man’s spine on television?”
Tara to Sam – “Maybe that’s because you always wake me up barkin in your sleep.”
Sam to Tara – “There’s a reason for that!”
Tara to Sam – “Do not tell me your a fuckin werewolf!”
Sam to Tara – “I’m a shapeshifter!”
Tara to Sam – “Shut the fuck up!”
Pam to Eric – “Eric, do the world a favor and let that little fuck fry!”
Tara to Sam – “Do you think bein’ a shapeshifter is somethin’ you should tell a person before you sleep with them?”
Tara to Sam – “I wish I could just reboot and be a completely new person!”
Pam to Eric – “Eric, he killed your family- rip off his fuckin head!”
Eric to Russell (as Russell’s’ fang pops out after losing one) – “Well that’s humiliating. I’ll take that!”
Sookie to Russell – “Don’t even think about it bitch!”
Sookie to Eric – “I’m not gonna babysit this psycho while you guys take a nap!”
Sookie to Bill – “I really don’t want to look at your face right now or any one of your faces for that matter! Go crawl back into your holes you creepy cold freaks!”
DEA officer to Andy – “This here’s blood enough for a 100 doses. That’s a lot of hard on’s, enhanced athletic performances, spontaneous healing…..”
Maxine to Hoyt – “Oh sweet Lord she bit him!”
Summer to Hoyt -”Dear Hoyt. I’ve known you ever since safety patrol and you helped me cross the street everyday…..”
Maxine to Hoyt – “If you think I’m going to sit back and watch you throw your life away on a red headed dead girl you are surely mistaken!”
Hoyt to Guidance Counselor – “Shut up! You’re not even a real therapist. Everybody knows you got a bottle of Malibu rum in your desk so shut up!”
Hoyt to Summer – “I wish you the best husband in the world but it ain’t me!”
Russell to Sookie – “Miss Stackhouse I’d like to propose a deal.”
Sookie to Russell – “Oh! This oughta be good!”
Sookie to Russell-”Steppin around the fact that your word is worth as much as tits on a turtle! What else?”
Russell to Sookie – “One million dollars!”
Sookie to Russell – “Five!”
Russell to Sookie – “Two!”
Sookie to Russell – “Seven!”
Russell to Sookie – “OK five!”
Russell to Sookie – “I will kill Eric Northmann and Bill Compton both or neither or just one of your choosin”
Sookie to Russell – “Both! And your house in Mississippi. I like that house!”
Russell to Sookie – “You don’t know what its like to drink your blood- paradise, arcadia, nirvana…..”
Sookie to Russell (as she sprays him with silver) – “That’s enough out of you!”
Calvin to Jason – “We don’t need your fuckin help. We’ve been fine on our own for a long time.”
Jason to Calvin – “Is that so? ‘Cause I see a lot of people who look dirty and hungary, and kids who probably ain’t in school and several people who obviously got dental issues!”
Hotshot boy to Calvin – “Here you go Uncle Daddy Calvin!”
Andy to DEA officer – “Need me to do anything on this end?”
DEA officer to Andy – “Run to the store and grab me a pack of Luckys!”
Andy (under his breath) – “Asshole!”
Rev. Daniels to Tara – ” I suppose someone taken all my pants!”
Rev. Daniels to Tara – “Your mother was just helping me with my sermon…..”
Lettie Mae to Tara – “I’m gonna be a Minister’s wife!”
Ginger to Sookie – “Are you sure you’re not hungry? I can make you a peanut butter and butter sandwich.”
Sookie to Alcide – “Don’t be such a good guy right now!”
Alcide to Sookie – “I can’t help it if I’m a good guy.”
Russell to Sookie – “Yeah, Yeah. Every full moon he turns into a wolf and kills and eats his prey!”
Alcide to Russell – “Rabbits and squirrels, not people!
Russell to Alcide – “Details!”
Sookie to Bill – “I feel safer protecting myself since I now know that I’m basically vampire crack!”
Eric to Bill and Alcide – “If you two have finished eye fucking each other, can we go?”
DEA officer to Andy – “Now I gotta call fuckin New Orleans. Tell them what a clusterfuck you got up here! Sons of bitches, backwater hicks! Where’s my Luckys? Somebody bring me my Luckys!
Jason to Andy – “Sometimes the right thing to do is the wrong thing and I know I did the right thing.”
Lafayette to Jesus – “You a witch, who’s a nurse, who’s a dude. Holy shit, I guess I lucked out there now!”
Bill to Russell – “Wrapped in silver, encased in cement. You won’t be goin anywhere for at least a 100 years.”
Russell to Bill – “A 100 years? That’s nothin to me. That’s a nap!”
Bill to Russell – “You as mad as a fuckin hatter!”
Godric to Eric – “You make me bleed my child.”
Russell to Eric and Bill – “You will regret this!”
Eric to Russell – “Maybe. Right now it feels fuckin good!”
Bill to Eric (as he handcuffs him) – “When fate presents one with such a grand opportunity what else is one to do!”
Hoyt to Jessica – “People become ministers on the Internet so what’s keepin me from becomin a Minister and marrying us myself.”
Bill to Sookie – “Russell is gone.”
Sookie to Bill – “Thank God for small favors!”
Bill to Sookie – “I have never loved, nor will I ever love as I have loved you!”
Eric to Bill – “What about you letting 2 psychos beat her within an inch of her life so you could feed her your blood the night you met…..”
Sookie to Bill – “Get out of my house! Don’t ever come here, don’t ever call me, don’t ever talk to me EVER! You manipulated me into falling in love with you!”
Bill to Sookie – “It is who you are Sookie not what you are that I love, who I will love always until I meet until I meet the true death!”
Sookie to Bill – “LOVE! You don’t even get to use that word! I rescind my invitation…..”
Eric to Bill – “I want my phone back!”
Sookie to Eric – “You too! Get the fuck off my porch and out of my life!”
Sookie to Eric – “Go back to hell where you came from you fuckin dead piece of shit!”
Eric to Sookie – “I’m sorry to see you suffer like this. I thought you had the right to know.”
Pam to Eric – “Did you kill him? Please tell me you killed him ’cause I’ll never get all the cement out of my hair!”
Eric to Pam – “I gave him a much worse punishment.”
Pam to Eric – “Ruben tried to kill me by the way. I took him out!”
Eric to Pam – “Oh great! On top of everything I’m out an assassin!”
Pam to Eric – “I have zero patience with that shit!”
Tommy to Sam – “I can’t fuckin read!”
Sophie Ann to Bill – “We’ll side step your recent defection…..for now!”
Sophie Ann to Bill – “Tell me, do I make a good widow?”
Bill to Sophie Ann – “You are a vision!”
Sophie Ann to Bill – “Bill, don’t be such a sour puss!”
Sophie Ann to Bill – “I’ve waited centuries for find a true fae. I can’t wait to feel the sunlight on my skin again. Maybe I’ll get a yacht!”
Bill to Sophie Ann – “I do have another surprise for you. Only one of us will leave this house.”
Sophie Ann to Bill – “You dare challenge me! I’m twice your age!”
Bill to Sophie Ann – “Yes- but I have nothin left to lose!”
Sookie (crying and talking to Gran’s grave) – “I miss you. I’ve never felt so alone!”
Claudine to Sookie – ” Sookie you’re not alone. Come with us!”