The Vault’s special report Gretchen, a.k.a. BittenByBill, attended the Scream Awards last Saturday. This is her story.
The Scream Awards honors the best TV shows and films in the Fantasy, Comic, Science Fiction and Horror genres. On its fourth year, Spike TV pulled out all the stops in treating everyone to a memorable evening at the Los Angeles Greek Theatre.
A word of advice though, if you ever decide to be part of the cast audience for the annual Scream Awards, bring flip-flops (and NOT 3-inch heels…boy I learned my lesson!)…and a folding chair. Better yet, might as well hook yourself up with a cooler full of refreshments. You are going to be standing in line for at least two and a half hours! We were asked to stay in the pit, but that meant another grueling 3 hours of being on my feet so I decided to pass…if I stood any longer my calves would have atrophied and my toes disfigured.
Costumed fan boys (and gals), countless of them, comprised a huge percentage of attendees in this years Scream 2009 Awards. I stood in line beside a Corpse Bride and behind me were a 5′ 8″ penguin and his best friend, Scorpion from Mortal Combat. There were ghouls…there were superheroes…there were grown men and women dressed to the nines, some of them, barely wearing anything at all. Checking everyone out was oddly entertaining and made the long wait tolerable. The people I was surrounded with were very sweet even if some of them were yielding machetes and looked like they were half eaten by wild dogs. I knew all I had to do…was to be patient. For soon, I would see True Blood’s Stephen Moyer, Sam Trammel and Alexander Skarsgård. And damn it, those three are worth the wait.
A “ginormous” full moon, a frightening giant hare with scarlet eyes and flaming banisters were among the few things that made the stage, “ooh” worthy. The show kicked off with the emergence of two twin girls, hauntingly similar to the Shining children. They were escalated to the top of what looked like a giant white ball…a quick slash to the neck, and lots and LOTS of blood spurting from two stories above, brought the audience into a screaming frenzy. The caterwauling did not stop there.
My friends and I were fortunate to have been moved closer and by the time the Best Villain nominations were presented and awarded, I had a better view of the 6′ 4″ Golden God, Alexander Skarsgård. Even though my calves were screaming uncle, I jumped up to yell Alex’ name. I really hoped he heard me…I know when needed, I could count on my lungs to produce a sonic boom all the way to the stage. Alex was excited about winning his award, even saying that his own mother would be proud he’d won most evil person on the planet. He then continued to dedicate his award to his shop teacher in Sweden, whom he considers, the most evil person in the world.
Gretchen, a.k.a. BittenByBill
Right after Battlestar Galactica was honored with a final farewell (yay to Oscar winner Edward James Olmos); it was time for the Best Horror Actor to be awarded. I nearly screamed my head off (ala Scanners) when the perennially stunning Liv Tyler called out Stephen Moyer’s name. My heart was ready to burst out of my pericardium when he made a “naughty” joke about his trophy (it was shades of Anna Paquin’s GG win all over again) and when he thanked Alan Ball, who he referred to as a matchmaker. Can I get an “Aaaaw-men”? This is one reason why his female fans are growing at an exponential rate. Bite me Bill, er, Stephen!
It was on to the Mastermind Award, presented by Quentin Tarantino to the Godfather of Guts and Gore, George A. Romero. By the way, according to Quentin, the “A” in George A Romero stands for, “A **bleep**-ing genius!” Bravo to Mr. Romero. This was also an opportune time to announce the advent of “Survival of the Dead”. Oh My God. I cannot wait to see it!
Watchmen and Shutter Island’s very own Jackie Earle Haley finally emerged to present the Best Horror Actress. There were six very talented women but the other five could not beat True Blood’s heroine, Anna Paquin. She simply looked resplendent with her puce tinted mini dress. As always, the graceful and grateful actress wowed everyone with her beauty, wit and charm. She said her thanks and expressed her deep love for everyone in the show. I know whom she really meant. Don’t we all?
I am not even going to get into the winners of the fantasy awards that night. It was obvious Catherine Hardwick’s wards were going to win Best Fantasy Actor, Actress and Fantasy Movie. Our beloved Sam Trammel lost the breakthrough Male performance to “New Moon” not to mention “The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lava Girl”‘s Taylor Lautner. Congratulations Taylor. We will see Sam on the podium next year.
A few restroom breaks later, I ran back just in time to witness the entire cast of True Blood honored, “Best TV Show”. It makes my heart swell with utmost pride to see our True Blood family win. Alan Ball accepted the award and acknowledged that this was the most **bleep**- up awards show. I nearly had a coronary when Sam stepped up to the microphone and expressed his thanks to the legions of fans that have followed them since Season 1. We love you Sam. We love all of you! How can we not? By that time, I hardly had enough vocal prowess to scare a mouse but I carried on.
One of the highlights that night was the announcement of the Ultimate Scream Award, won by JJ Abrams ‘ Star Trek (also a winner for Best Director that night). William Shatner walked out to accept the award to the utter delight of everyone in the theater. He insisted that JJ enlist him for the sequel so he can start working out his glutes. Live long and prosper Bill. We love you to pieces!
Last but certainly not least, was the Comic Icon awards presented by Spidey himself, Tobey Maguire (and what a “hunkadelic” dish he is!). He gave the award to my ultimate comic book hero, Stan Lee , who Tobey fondly describes as the author who brought humanity to all superheroes. Everyone was roused from their seats when Stan descended on the stage from four stories high on a spider platform. What a truly remarkable tribute it was…and funny too that Stan jokingly admitted having been scared half to death being on that platform. He thanked Spike TV and the Comic Con for telling the world how utterly cool comics were and carried on his speech by asking the audience how to get out of “this cockamamie contraption”. What a trooper indeed!
The day might have started wonky (on account of horrific parking and a waiting line the length of 3 football fields), but for the love of giving homage to comics, fantasy, sci-fi, horror and anything and everything True Blood it was well worth it. My geek-fu was highly enriched that night and I’ll be damned if I miss it next year.
The 2-hour Scream Awards will air on Tuesday, the 27th of October on Spike TV. Keep a look out for a bantam sized crazy woman on the stands. That little lunatic is me.
© The Vault – TrueBlood-Online.com
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