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Blood Bytes: Favorite True Blood quotes – Episode 3.05 “Trouble”

Blood Bytes: Favorite True Blood quotes – Episode 3.05 “Trouble”

Mary Jo (aka Skimom2) has provided her weekly list of the best True Blood quotes.

Yes, it seems that everyone is in or headed for ‘Trouble” in this episode. Tara with Franklin, Tommy with Joe Lee, Bill with Russell, Jason with Crystal, Sookie with Debbie, and now Sookie and Bill reunited with trouble following them as usual. It was a great episode filled with many humorous and “troublesome” lines….

Franklin to Tara– “Let me take you somewhere special for your last meal as a human.
There’s a Shoney’s in Vicksburg.
Tara to Franklin– “Oh, great!

Talbot to Tara– “Spicy! Who’s a pretty girl, your a pretty girl…..”

Talbot to Franklin– “You and your dusky little bloodbeast are totally at odds with my decor!”

Franklin to Tara– “Ignore him, he’s the cleaning lady!”

Talbot to Russell– “You’re not supposed to bring work home!”
Russell to Talbot (pointing at himself)– “Darling, King!”

Russell to Franklin- “The last time you had any real money you ended up with the slots in Beloxi slaughtering a church group of elderly woman.”
Franklin to Russell– “They wouldn’t let me have a turn!”

Franklin to Russell– “This one is spetacularly different. She’s such a fucking disaster, we could be twins! The attraction is electric!”

Russell to Franklin– ” Franklin, your a huge freak, but I like your work!”

Bill to Lorena– “You’ve played yourself into a corner you tiresome cow!”

Russell to Eric– I appreciate your courtesy, it’s very “old world”.
Talbot to Eric and Russell – Nobody has manners anymore, it was all so beautiful once”.

Talbot to Eric about Bill– “He’s not missing and he’s way to square to sell V”

Russell to Talbot– A King in front of them, and a Queen behind them and they’re talking about a human girl.
Talbot to Russell– “Men!”

Franklin to Tara– “Tara, watch how fast I type mother fucker!”

Jason- “I’m here to work”, Point me at the crime scene and let’s go get her”

Melinda to Joe Lee and Tommy– ” You all listen to Sam, he’s always got the good ideas!”

Terry to Sam– “I ain’t worried, I’ve never been so not worried. That’s what normal people do Sam. They fall in love, they make each other laugh, they move intogether, they raise kids, they get old
and fat together and it’s normal and it’s happening to me.”

Arlene to Sam when he congratulates her about Terry moving in – “I never thoughtit would happen again, and again, and again, and that other time, too!”

Sookie to Alcide– “Work with me Alcide, it gets easier!”

Tommy to Lafayette (while smoking cigars) – “I don’t care what they call it, it tastes like shit!”
Lafayette to Tommy– “Pussy!”

Crystal to Jason who doesn’t believe he’s a cop’ “Where’s your badge, where’s your gun, where’s your shirt?”

Hoyt’s date to Hoyt– ” I don’t eat much. I don’t want to get fat like my mama.”

Tommy to Jessica about Hoyt– ” He looked like he got bombed by radiation on his way to middle school.” That’s a giant 6th grade boy right there. He’s little league and your a smokin’ hot vampire in the majors.

Franklin to Tara– “Your afraid of me? That’s insane!”
Tara to Franlin- “but you tie me up?”
Franklin to Tara – “to keep you safe, what other reason could there be?”

Russell to Bill- “I think you’ve been playin trap the telepath!”

Lafayette to Jesus- “I can’t be lookin at folk with all that grease flyin around in the kitchen.”

Coot to Bill– “Your a little edgy batboy!”

Talbot to Lorena as she comes down the stairs to meet him and Eric– “Boys only!”

Tara to Franklin– We need to talk.
Franklin to Tara– Don’t say that. Whenever someone says that everything goes dark and I wake up surrounded by body parts.
Tara to Franklin– “You have to remember that I’m alive and I have needs, like food!”

Franklin to Tara– ” Let me take you somewhere special for your last meal. There’s a Shoney’s in Vicksburg.”
Tara to Franklin– ” Oh great!”

Written by Lynnpd

Lynnpd has an avid interest in the entertainment industry from classic movies to all things True Blood. With a background in art, she enjoys creating in Photoshop, running web sites and finds the internet an exciting place to be. Lynn lives in the LA area and attends as many Hollywood related events as she can. She has covered events for the both websites in the LA area; read all about it at

10 Comment responses

  1. Avatar
    July 20, 2010

    Well done, Mary Jo. An excellent list. Let me add these lines.

    Papa King to Prince Eric in the flashback … “You can’t spend the rest of your life between a woman’s legs.”

    Eric’s response: “I can try.”

    Sookie to Alcide … “I’m not going to die because of your shitty girl friend and a Mississippi pothole.”


  2. Avatar
    July 20, 2010

    LOL – Franklin seems to have the best lines this season. Thank you Mary Jo, love reading the list every week.


  3. Avatar
    July 21, 2010

    Great list, I had no idea what a Shoney’s is!


    • Avatar
      July 21, 2010

      If you didn’t grow ip in the south then you won’t get how funny this is. It’s like taking your date to an overstated mcds


      • Avatar
        July 21, 2010

        Having grown up in the South (we think it’s a proper noun, so it’s capitalized), I had to explain to my family about Shoney’s. I was rolling in the floor.

      • Avatar
        July 22, 2010

        Ain’t nothin too proper about sho-neys. And a country piece of a… Uh I mean pie.

  4. Avatar
    July 21, 2010

    Talbot said “dusky” not “dusty”.


  5. Avatar
    July 21, 2010

    Thank you Mary Jo for your list, this episode had our house rewinding constantly. The best and I don’t know why but we could not stop laughing was the Bill being to square to sell V. Talbot in all his lines is excellent in his delivery and Franklin too.


  6. Avatar
    July 21, 2010

    Thanks Mary Jo those are really good ones. I found it funny when Kevin and Kenya were discussing mulch. Kenya expresses how how much she likes that red mulch and recommends it to him for his wishing well. Kevin replies, ” I don’t know. That seems kind of wild.”


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