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The ultimate vampire dating guide ‘How To Catch And Keep A Vampire’

The ultimate vampire dating guide ‘How To Catch And Keep A Vampire’

cakavcvrmedVampires have always had a certain appeal but they were never as attractive, interesting, sexy and just plain hot as now. They are out of the coffin and ‘living’ side by side with us mortals and many of my girlfriends have expressed the desire to date a vampire. The thought has crossed my mind as well maybe once or twice. But the prospect of getting in such close contact with somebody who could glamour you, overpower you without effort and suck the life out of you if he wanted to, is a bit scary. We could use some tips and tricks here, advise from somebody who has ‘done that and been there’.

‘How To Catch And Keep A Vampire’ by award winning writer Diana Laurence is the ultimate vampire dating guide. Drawing from her own experiences with vampires – meeting them, befriending them and dating them – Diana shares with the aspiring vampire-dater all the do’s and don’ts that will help you to meet the right vampire for you and to build a successful and satisfying relationship with him (or her).

This highly entertaining book covers all the aspects of vampire dating and gives the fang-fanciers answers to burning questions like “Is it possible to tame a vampire?”, “Can all vampires lift one eyebrow?” and “What to do when your vampire is cheating on you?”. Diana warns us for the risk of over-swooning and explains the history of the red satin ribbon.

On the official website of the book you can find more FAQ answered and you can even send in your own.

Curious as I am I wanted to know even more and who better to ask my questions to than Diana Laurence herself.

Thank you Diana for taking the time out of your busy schedule to answer my questions. ‘How To Catch And Keep A Vampire’ was released only weeks ago and I hear you are quite busy doing book signings, radio shows and interviews.

Diana: “For starters, let me say how thrilled I am to be on TrueBlood-Online with you, Shadaliza. I’m a rabid fan of the show and the books, and I think the work you guys do here is incredibly thorough and professional. Getting interviewed here is as cool as having Sam make me a julep and sharing a table with Bill! Okay, I admit that would be cooler, but you get my point.”

When did your fascination with vampires start?

“As a little kid I was intrigued by mind control—hypnotists, aliens, and also vampires. I also liked scary movies, so naturally I tuned in to the 60s soap opera “Dark Shadows.” But the clincher was Frank Langella’s portrayal of Dracula in the 1979 film. It didn’t hurt that I was going through puberty at the time. LOL! I just found the mystery, danger and power of vampires very alluring, even as a teen.”

You have dated several vampires. For you personally what is the appeal of dating a vampire?

“The list of reasons is so long it took an entire chapter of my book. I’m sure your readers could make a list that long as well! But I think my personal #1 reason is this: Vampires Cannot Be Tamed. It seems counterintuitive, but something inside me responds to the fact that the will of a vampire trumps that of a mortal every time. Even the sweet-natured vampires of my acquaintance, even the ones that are very protective towards me, are still willful, wild and unpredictable at times. And that’s a good thing. Well, think Bill Compton!”

Why should every girl and guy try dating a vampire at least once in her/his life?

“I think my answer to that harks back to a book I wrote over a decade ago, entitled Living Beyond Reality. I feel very strongly that in order to live life to the full, a person needs to look beyond the mundane, to the fantastical. Not only look, but also dabble. That’s what vampires are for: Hanging out with them lets us play at things we’d never dare to do in “real life.” Getting to know them lets us express aspects of ourselves we otherwise wouldn’t indulge. And personally, I feel that doing those things is essential to happiness and mental health! I recognize vampires aren’t everyone’s thing, but there are other options. Werewolves…pirates…space aliens…whatever trips your trigger, just go for it.”


Diana Laurence explains the imminently logical reasons for wanting to date a vampire.

In your book you stress how important it is to find the right vampire and not just settle for the first one that comes along. Have you had any vampire dating disasters of your own? Can you give an example?

“On that subject, I allude in my book to my dear friend Ethan, the first vampire I dated. I mention it wasn’t the best match because he’s a musician and I’m not. I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a disaster, but one night he really wanted to teach me how to play arpeggios on the piano. Now a vampire can use mind control anytime to enable you to do that sort of thing, out of your normal capabilities, like tango or play Texas Hold ‘Em. But he really wanted to teach me, for real. My hands can barely stretch an octave, and my fingers do not cooperate even when I type. I could see Ethan really needed a girlfriend with some piano aptitude. And, of course, by then I’d met Gunnar… :-)”

Dating a vampire involves a biting and drawing of blood. Do you remember the first time a vampire bit you? How was that experience?

ethan“It was kind of nice that Ethan was my first vampire, because he was really cordial about it. He offered politely, and to my surprise there was no pressure. I didn’t think vampires were ever that way. And frankly, from the moment I laid eyes on him, playing piano in that mall food court, I really wanted him to bite me. You know how that is. And trust me, it didn’t disappoint! Vampire bites are…well, you’ve seen “True Blood,” you get the idea.

Interestingly, however, the experience was quite different with Gunnar. As I explain in my book, he was a more “traditional” vampire in that he was not going to give me any say in the matter. He was rather scary actually. He said to me, “The way this works is, I get what I want, and you’re totally, wonderfully happy about that.” And then without warning he bit my wrist. And actually, that was a lot more thrilling than it had ever been with Ethan! Go figure…it’s the same reason so many of us lust after Eric Northman, I’m sure.”

Why do intelligent, modern, independent women willingly enter in relationships with dominant vampires who are physically and mentally able to overpower them? Haven’t we learned anything?

“I’m going to try to answer that without making anyone mad at me, because the answer is not exactly PC. LOL I think in fact we have learned a lot, and society has learned a lot, and none of us want to go back to a world like on “Mad Men,” where women are subservient. At the same time, I think many, perhaps most (but not all!!) women are hardwired to enjoy submission once in awhile. We get a certain thrill out of it romantically and/or sexually. But at the same time, we (hopefully) know better than to get trapped into that sort of arrangement in our mortal relationships. Like I said earlier, this is what vampires are for. You can indulge away in the bodice-rippy, swoony stuff without fear of reprisal. In fact, I find having that outlet actually makes me a stronger person.”

Vampires make interesting conversation partners, they have lived through many different periods and have acquired an incredible amount of knowledge and skills. What have you learned from your vampire friends?

“I’m glad you brought this up, Shadaliza, because I find it one of the best things about having vampire relationships. They have ancient talents and amazing historical knowledge. My friend Aidan knows old Celtic magic that is extremely entertaining. Mordred hung out with the Druids. (But don’t tell him I told you so. He’s very mysterious about his past, and his bite is as bad as his low, seductively snarly bark). My dearest vampire, Conner, knew Chaucer and was a groupie of Shakespeare’s. He practically lived at the Globe Theater, and certainly got underfoot backstage a time or two.”

Are women who have dated a vampire forever spoiled for human boyfriends? How could they ever match up?

“It’s funny how that works. While I certainly couldn’t get through life without my vampires, at the same time there’s an irreplaceable charm about mortal husbands and boyfriends. They have to work a lot harder both to make it in life and to make you happy, and it’s rewarding to see them do it. And there are a few things mortal guys can do for you that vampires never will. Like don’t ever bother trying to get a vampire to help you with your taxes.”

How do True Blood vampires Bill and Eric fit in your theory about good and bad vampires?

“Those two are classic examples, and I refer to them all the time when writing and speaking about the undead. As I explain in the book, all vampires are predatory and untamable, but they have different “social styles,” if you will. Good vampires, like Bill, choose to interact with mortals in a polite, civilized way. They enjoy playing a protective role with their mates. Bad vampires, like Eric, would rather behave in a traditionally vampiric manner: aggressive, controlling, being scary and insisting on their own way. However, like Eric, deep down they are not truly bad…they behave that way largely because they know we really dig it! But I must warn your readers there is also a third category, evil vampires. That kind is truly malevolent and utterly selfish. Think Marianne with fangs. You don’t want to have anything to do with them, as I was warned but failed to heed. You’ll read that cautionary tale in the book!”


What is the most important advice you can give us on dating a vampire?

“Other than the caveat I just shared, I’d say that you shouldn’t be put off or feel bad about vampires’ general inability to be monogamous. I’ve come to learn the tricky but true lesson that while they rarely limit themselves to one mate for life (considering how long “life” is for them, that’s a lot to ask), they are not like mortals about it. And while I’m a staunch proponent of monogamy in mortal relationships, it’s different with vampires. They are very deeply devoted to each one of their mates and truly make you feel uniquely treasured and indispensable. It’s hard not to be jealous at first, but if you can wrap your mind around that, it makes a world of difference. And meanwhile, it means you can change vampires as the mood strikes you as well! Yay! Because some days I’m in the mood for Bill, and sometimes for Eric. ;-)”

We won’t give away the secret of the red ribbon… but….. do you still wear it every now and then?

“You bet I do! And I really hope readers of the book will too. I’m looking to spot them wherever I go…and seeing as the book is in stores all over the world, those ribbons could be everywhere soon. :-)”


Diana Laurence

For more info about ‘How To Catch And Keep A Vampire’ and Diana Laurence: – official site for the book, with lots of fun info and interactions with me and my vampire friends. – The Facebook fan page; you gotta join, we have fun stuff happening every day and the vampires contribute a lot. – my own site, where you can learn about me and my many other books. Click on “vampires” in the upper left to find my vampire-related works. – my blog, where I talk about romance, sex, psychology and pop culture…tastefully of course. – The information on my Spot the Book contest, running till Nov. 30, with prizes including a $100 Amazon certificate.

Again, thanks so much for having me on TrueBlood-Online! I hope my book will help provide some comforting diversion while your readers (like me) pace the floor waiting for the new season. Certainly it will help them find vampires of their own, and believe me, those guys will be a distraction from the wait for sure!

© The Vault –

Written by Shadaliza

Shadaliza loves the Internet, film and TV shows, writing, running websites and charity fundraising; she has found the perfect combo in the fansites to express her creativity and passion. Shadaliza is Dutch, but has lived in Italy for many years and works as Marketing Executive for an Internet hosting company.